Hello, Goodbye

Roméo: Wow. This room hasn't changed at all. Still a huge mess!
Chris: Hey, play ni... Ro? What? Are you a ghost? What are you doing here?
Roméo: Yeah, I'm the ghost of bloody Christmas Past! Of course not, you idiot. You're just hallucinating.
Chris: Oh... Well. You look...
Roméo: Great? Smashing? Positively gorgeous?
Chris: I was going for normal, but yeah, whatever floats your boat.
Roméo: You allways had such a way with words.

***

Chris: The fires of eternal damnation don't seem to leave any marks. I thought you'd smell like overcooked toast.
Roméo: Hell? Nah. Mate, you're looking at the greatest cat resident Heaven ever had.
Chris: Yeah right.
Roméo: True story! You wouldn't believe how great it is up there.
Chris: Really?
Roméo: Yup. I've never seenn so many hot pussycats in my whole life. And trust me, they now how to tire a cat out.
Chris: Ew. Gross. So does that mean they gave you your testicles back?

***

Roméo: So, what about you? What are you up to?
Chris: Well, you know. Driving, making friends, trying to write , plotting to take over the world. Same old, same old. Don't you, I don't know, look after me from Heaven?
Roméo: What, you think I have time for that?
Chris: Still as selfless as you used to be I see.
Roméo: I have to admit though, I miss you.
Chris: I miss you too.

***

Chris: So, will I ever see you again?
Roméo: Sure. Whenever you hit your head too hard and you start to hallucinate. Or whenever you want to write about the greatest cat that ever lived.
Chris: Oh. That's nice. I guess.
Roméo: Well, I should get going.
Chris: Yeah, okay. You know, Ro, I know I've said it before, but I really do l...
Roméo: Come on now, you're not gonna get all girly on me now?
Chris: So what?
Roméo: Such a drama queen.
Chris: Okay then. But you know I do.
Roméo: Yeah, you too. Well...
Chris: Yeah.
Roméo: One more thing. Be nice with the new guy.
Chris: What new guy?
Roméo: You know what I'm talking about. Be as good to him as you were to me.
Chris: Okay.
Roméo: Goodbye then. See ya in your next hallucination.
Chris: Bye, Ro.

Ev'rybody Wants To Be A Cat

Roméo: Ev'rybody wants to be a cat, because a cat's the only cat who know where he's at.
Chris: Hey? What'cha doin'?
Roméo: What does it look like I'm doing? Ev'rybody's picking up on that feeling beat...
Chris: I'd say it sounds like you're torturing small animals.
Roméo: 'Cause everything else is obsolete. Very funny, you're hilarious.
Chris: Thanks. Is there a particular reason for you destroying my ears?
Roméo: Now a square with a horn, can make you wish you weren't born, ever'time he plays.
Chris: Let me guess, this is how you're going to help me take over the world.
Roméo: And with a square in the act, he can set music back to the caveman days.
Chris: I have to say, very effective. It's going to be a mass murder.
Roméo: Do you mind? I'm practising for an audition.
Chris: What audition?
Roméo: The Aristocats: The Musical. I've decided I want to be on Broadway.
Chris: Right. This musical doesn't exist.
Roméo: Yet. But soon it will. And I wanna be ready. I've heard some corny birds who tried to sing...
Chris: At this rate, you'll kill the competition.
Roméo: I know. But a cat's the only cat who knows how to swing.
Chris: Litterally.

Job Hunting 2

Chris: This is pointless!
Roméo: What's going on?
Chris: I've been browing through the job ads and there's nothing. Nada. Niet.
Roméo: Really? You're that incompetent?
Chris: Hey! Watch it, furball. They all require some experience. And I have none. This is stupid. How can I get any experience if nobody will let me?
Roméo: Yeah that's dumb. So there's really nothing?
Chris: Well... There is something.
Roméo: Ah! Do tell.
Chris: It's an offer to be a pallbearer.
Roméo: Seriously?
Chris: It's the only job that doesn't require experience it seems.
Roméo: Are you going to apply for it?
Chris: No! You crazy? It says you have to prep the body and everything.
Roméo: So? It's like that show...
Chris: That's not for me. What show?
Roméo: Six Feet Under. I saw a couple of episodes, it was kinda good.
Chris: I've never watched it and I'm still not interested. I don't wanna touch dead stuff. Seriously, what kind of morbid job is that?
Roméo: Well, someone has to do it.
Chris: Says the cat who's putting dead animals in our shoes as gifts.
Roméo: Quit complaining, everybody likes my presents. And that job doesn't seem too complicated so it's right up your alley.
Chris: I'm going to hit you, you know?
Roméo: What? It's not my fault if it's true.
Chris: Anyway, I can't apply.
Roméo: Why?
Chris: It says you can't be taller than 5.7 feet.
Roméo: So?
Chris: So I'm taller than that.
Roméo: You're really not helping you know? It's like you're doing this on purpose just to stay at home.
Chris: What, no...
Roméo: Fine. Be that way. Be a lazy sod all you want. I have better things to do.
Chris: ...
Chris: Did that just happened?

Role Playing

Roméo: So I see you’ve done an internship.
Chris: Several, actually. I did one at a local TV station and the others in various production companies.
Roméo: You do realize that we’re a small company. You won’t get much… exposure, dare I say.
Chris: It’s okay, I like small companies better. I like the atmosphere. And it usually means I get more work.
Roméo: Indeed it does. And you’ve worked on the latest editing… things?
Chris: Softwares.
Roméo: Right. I can never read your scrawl. So?
Chris: Yes, I have.
Roméo: Good. Well, I have no further questions. We still have a few candidates to interview and well get back to you very soon.
Chris: Thank you for your time.
Roméo: …
Roméo: So, how was I? Told you I could act.
Chris: Yeah, you deserve an Oscar. How did I do?
Roméo: You did good.
Chris: Really? Great! So, you’d give me the job?
Roméo: Nope.
Chris: What?! Why?
Roméo: Remember this morning when you called me a fat lazy arse? I resent that. And I’m not sure your boss would like to be called that either.
Chris: I would never call my boss that.
Roméo: But calling me fat is okay?
Chris: Is that a trick question?
Roméo: See? You’re fired!
Chris: You can’t fire me. You didn’t even hire!
Roméo: Well, you’re hired. Welcome. And you’re fired! Goodbye! You despicable incompetent piece of human scum!
Chris: Don’t let it be said that he can’t get into character.

Allies

Roméo: I like this guy.
Chris: Who?
Roméo: The new president. Obama.
Chris: Really? Why?
Roméo: He reminds me of us. He wants to take over the world. Maybe we could give him a few pointers?
Chris: I think you got the wrong president. Obama’s already ruling the world. Sarkozy’s the one who wants to take over.
Roméo: Well, maybe we could offer him some sort of alliance.
Chris: I don’t know, but for some reason, I don’t think he’d be interested in being our ally.
Roméo: How would you know?
Chris: Just a hunch. Also, the last time you offered an alliance, it didn’t end well.
Roméo: In my defense, they were just a couple of mice.
Chris: The only ones who were willing to work with us. And you ate them.
Roméo: Could have been worse.
Chris: Really? How?
Roméo: They could have tasted awful! But they didn’t, they tasted great!
Chris: You’re gross.
Roméo: So, how about him? Sarkozy?
Chris: I don’t think he’s interested in working alongside with cats.
Roméo: You’re right. We don’t need anyone. One day we’ll rule the world. And everybody will hate him.
Chris: …
Chris: At least we won’t have to work too hard to accomplish that one.

Give Me A Sign

Chris: :)
Roméo: :)
Chris: :D
Roméo: ;)
Chris: :p
Roméo: |{
Chris: 8D
Roméo: :@
Chris: 8-)
Roméo: }:(
Chris: :o
Roméo: }:[)
Chris: :'(
Roméo: };]
Chris: :D
Roméo: <:o)
Chris: :^)
Roméo: :-I
Chris: *-)
Roméo: I'm confused.
Chris: Me too.

The One Behind The Wheel

Roméo: So now you want to learn how to drive? That’s a new one.
Chris: Why? What’s wrong with that?
Roméo: Nothing. It’s just… What happened to cars being “evil contraptions invented by demons to destroy mankind”?
Chris: I never said that.
Roméo: I’m pretty sure you did.
Chris: I’m pretty sure I didn’t.
Roméo: My point is you didn’t want to drive.
Chris: And now I do. It’s called growing up. You should try it sometime.
Roméo: Be a smartass all you want. I will never, ne-eh-ever get in a car with you behind the wheel.
Chris: Why? I’d be a good driver.
Roméo: Are you kidding me? You’d be the worst driver ever.
Chris: I wouldn’t.
Roméo: You would. Even I can beat you at Gran Turismo.
Chris: It’s not my fault. It’s the controller. It’s not working properly. Plus, it’s all virtual. It doesn’t matter.
Roméo: Yeah? Remind me how you broke your leg?
Chris: What? What does it have to do with anything? I was six!
Roméo: Just answer the question.
Chris: Okay, it was while riding my first bike. But it was an accident.
Roméo: Yeah? Well, I don’t want to end up accidentally smashed against the windshield because someone doesn’t know how to use the stick shift.
Chris: Someone can still accidentally kick you right now, you know?