Allies

Roméo: I like this guy.
Chris: Who?
Roméo: The new president. Obama.
Chris: Really? Why?
Roméo: He reminds me of us. He wants to take over the world. Maybe we could give him a few pointers?
Chris: I think you got the wrong president. Obama’s already ruling the world. Sarkozy’s the one who wants to take over.
Roméo: Well, maybe we could offer him some sort of alliance.
Chris: I don’t know, but for some reason, I don’t think he’d be interested in being our ally.
Roméo: How would you know?
Chris: Just a hunch. Also, the last time you offered an alliance, it didn’t end well.
Roméo: In my defense, they were just a couple of mice.
Chris: The only ones who were willing to work with us. And you ate them.
Roméo: Could have been worse.
Chris: Really? How?
Roméo: They could have tasted awful! But they didn’t, they tasted great!
Chris: You’re gross.
Roméo: So, how about him? Sarkozy?
Chris: I don’t think he’s interested in working alongside with cats.
Roméo: You’re right. We don’t need anyone. One day we’ll rule the world. And everybody will hate him.
Chris: …
Chris: At least we won’t have to work too hard to accomplish that one.

Give Me A Sign

Chris: :)
Roméo: :)
Chris: :D
Roméo: ;)
Chris: :p
Roméo: |{
Chris: 8D
Roméo: :@
Chris: 8-)
Roméo: }:(
Chris: :o
Roméo: }:[)
Chris: :'(
Roméo: };]
Chris: :D
Roméo: <:o)
Chris: :^)
Roméo: :-I
Chris: *-)
Roméo: I'm confused.
Chris: Me too.

The One Behind The Wheel

Roméo: So now you want to learn how to drive? That’s a new one.
Chris: Why? What’s wrong with that?
Roméo: Nothing. It’s just… What happened to cars being “evil contraptions invented by demons to destroy mankind”?
Chris: I never said that.
Roméo: I’m pretty sure you did.
Chris: I’m pretty sure I didn’t.
Roméo: My point is you didn’t want to drive.
Chris: And now I do. It’s called growing up. You should try it sometime.
Roméo: Be a smartass all you want. I will never, ne-eh-ever get in a car with you behind the wheel.
Chris: Why? I’d be a good driver.
Roméo: Are you kidding me? You’d be the worst driver ever.
Chris: I wouldn’t.
Roméo: You would. Even I can beat you at Gran Turismo.
Chris: It’s not my fault. It’s the controller. It’s not working properly. Plus, it’s all virtual. It doesn’t matter.
Roméo: Yeah? Remind me how you broke your leg?
Chris: What? What does it have to do with anything? I was six!
Roméo: Just answer the question.
Chris: Okay, it was while riding my first bike. But it was an accident.
Roméo: Yeah? Well, I don’t want to end up accidentally smashed against the windshield because someone doesn’t know how to use the stick shift.
Chris: Someone can still accidentally kick you right now, you know?

Fool For You

Roméo: I’m really glad you’re back.
Chris: Yeah?
Roméo: Yeah, I missed you.
Chris: …
Chris: Right. Spill It.
Roméo: What? Spill what?
Chris: Whatever it is you want from me.
Roméo: Nothing!
Chris: Of course. You honestly missed me. Like I’m supposed to believe that.
Roméo: But it’s true. I did miss you!
Chris: Liar. You always have an ulterior motive.
Roméo: I’m not lying. Honest.
Chris: Really?
Roméo: Yeah.
Chris: Well thanks! I’m touched, Big R. Okay, you get to pick what we watch tonight.
Roméo: Thanks!
Chris: My pleasure.
Roméo: Can I ask you something else?
Chris: Shoot.
Roméo: You see, while you were away, your mom fed me beef in jelly.
Chris: So?
Roméo: Well… If you wouldn’t mind… I kinda… If you wouldn’t mind… Some salmon.
Chris: No problem. I’ll go pick some at the store later, ‘kay?
Roméo: Thank you! (Wow, I can't believe how easy that was!)

The Simple Plan

Chris: Hey, what’s up?
Roméo: Nothing, I’m writing my letter to Santa.
Chris: Right. You do know that Christmas is still months away?
Roméo: I know but I prefer to be ready in advance. There. All done.
Chris: Can I read it?
Roméo: Sure. I think the spelling’s good though.
Chris: Okay.
Chris: …
Chris: The Aristocats? Seriously? Haven’t you see this movie, oh I don’t know, like a zillion times?
Roméo: Yeah, and the VHS is dead. I want the DVD. It’ll last longer.
Chris: And what did you put the address of a Virgin Megastore in your letter?
Roméo: Well, I saw this documentary on Santa the other day and it showed how he makes all those toys and stuff. And I figured, with all those kids in the world it would be much faster for him to go buy the toys and then distribute them instead of making them. Do you know how long it takes to make a DVD?
Chris: I don’t know what to say.
Roméo: I know, clever, right? I’m surprised, for an old dude, he doesn’t seem very bright. So I’ll even join a map to show him how to get there.
Chris: Of course you will.
Roméo: See, now I’m sure I’ll get the right gift. You should do the same thing if you don’t want to end up like all those kids who never get the right present on Christmas. I wonder why no one ever thought of that.
Chris: Yeah, I wonder.

The Young And The Restless Ruin

Roméo: So, who are you rooting for?
Chris: Nadal, of course.
Roméo: What? Traitor!
Chris: Why? Who are you rooting for?
Roméo: Federer of course.
Chris: Of course you are.
Roméo: What is that supposed to mean?
Chris: Nothing. Just the old geezers sticking together as usual. And I’m not a traitor.
Roméo: Well, I’m not old. And yes you are. You should support the player from your country.
Chris: Federer’s not French. He’s Swiss. And sorry to break it to you pal, but you’re old. You’re practically a ruin. Federer should just quit and let the new generation take over.
Roméo: How dare you! You know what? The ruin says you can go frak yourself.
Chris: Yeah? Well, the ruin is not going to have anything to eat today!
Roméo: You wouldn’t!
Chris: I would!
Roméo: No!
Chris: Ye… Shhh, the game’s about to start.
Roméo: Finally!
Chris: Is Federer supposed to look like a woman?
Roméo: I wouldn’t know, you all look the same to me.
Chris: I think we got the wrong schedule.

Happy Birdsday

Roméo: Ah, there you are!
Chris: There I am.
Roméo: So, I really wanted to say, I’m sorry.
Chris: What did you do this time?
Roméo: It’s about your birthday.
Chris: What about it?
Roméo: Well, I had a present idea for you but... But since I already got a mouse for your brother…
Chris: A headless mouse.
Roméo: Whatever. Since I got him the mice, I can’t get you the same thing.
Chris: Oh, don’t worry about it. Really. I’ll survive.
Roméo: Really?
Chris: Really.
Roméo: Okay, good. Thank you! I’m glad you’re okay with that, ‘cause I have this great new idea!
Chris: Oh?
Roméo: Yup! By the way, you’re not allergic to birds, right?
Chris: ...
Chris: On second thought, my birthday is still six months away… Maybe you should take your time and think it through.
Roméo: Oh, don’t worry. It’s already done and wrapped up. I put it in the freezer.

Back For a Month

Good people of the Earth, men, women, cats and in-between,
The 22nd of next month will mark the first anniversary of Roméo’s passing. To commemorate this, I will post some bits I was working on last year as well as some new material until the 22nd. Then, I will leave the blog online until I decide what to do with it.